Blue is coming right along

Been a while since I blogged, but mostly because I prefer Facebook and Google Plus for random updates.

Blue did very well in class yesterday. I had a long talk with the trainer and she agreed that he is an amazing dog, sweet as can be and fearful.

He doesn't have tantrums as much as they are anxiety attacks, which makes a bit more sense. For some reason, taking him out of the circle and having him walk in front of others sets him off.

I learned to not wonder why he does what he does. I'll never get the right answer. I just see what he does and work with him.

So we do small bits of sitting and staying and then walk. Then we come back to the other dogs, do a bit more and then walk some more. I have him sit and just look around, sniff things and keep it all very relaxed.

I love this dog with all my heart and soul JUST AS HE IS.

That's the biggest thing. Acceptance.

When he developed a bit of food aggression, I changed what I did. He's always been a nervous eater. He has to be coaxed and he won't eat unless I sit with him.

He either wants to play with everyone or he pins his ears, tucks his tail and cowers. No rhyme or reason and that's fine. I watch his body language and deal with it as best as possible for him.

Fear in dogs is almost impossible to get rid of, so we ignore it. I put NO attention on it and keep everything positive.

Blue is incredibly affectionate, playful, and smart. Stubborn too. I've found treats that are like crack for him, so those are working better.

When I see people approaching, I pull him off to the side, make him sit and stay and feed him treats for being a good boy. I'm trying to teach him that he does not need to react to external motion.

He's a high anxiety dog with a huge heart.

That's just fine with me.

Blue's future friend - Miss Betty Boop

Mr. Blue is coming along. Best class ever Sunday. You know what we did?

Nothing. Just walked around, up and down the street, and let him look at the dogs and people. Let him sniff the grass, wander and just relax.

Let him be a dog. No commands, very little attention on him and enjoyed the sunshine and fresh air.

We worked with 2 other dogs by just walking past them, over and over, while the foster parents helped them to stay calm and correct them when they became reactive. This was interesting to Blue. Of course, being Blue, he wanted to walk over and say hello.

Not once did he jump on me, or pull the leash or do anything but walk and smile.

Then the instructor came over. Blue was lying in the grass and chewing on a stick. She showed me how to be able to take it away and give it back to him. Blue can get a tad reactive when anything is taken away from him. It bothers him. You can see it. So he got a treat every time I took the stick and another one when I gave it back to him. Back and forth, quietly with very high praise.

Then she wanted to see how he was with another dog. This is a big thing and takes intelligence and being able to read a dog perfectly.

So nose-to-nose he went with Miss Betty Boop. Blue was ecstatic and immediately jumped and hugged her. She hugged back. I was trying to stay relaxed and trust. I held tight as he was pulling the leash with everything he had.

Betty was fine. She is used to work with other dogs. This is Miss Betty Boop:

We finally pulled them apart because Blue doesn't know when to stop. That's his problem - no "off" switch, which we have to find and cultivate.

So little steps based on tons of praise and fun when he's good and ignoring him completely when he misbehaves. He hates to be ignored, so it works well.

We will slowly have Blue be around Betty. She will not put up with any nonsense but Blue has no idea what that is.

That's OK. We'll get him there and my hope is he will soon have a friend to play with, to learn from and to just be a dog with.

That would make me the happiest person around.

No treats for you!

 This is Blue pouting.

Had a most interesting time with Blue yesterday in class.

Actually, saying he was in class isn't exactly correct. We stood on the sidelines and walked up and down the street for class. Marthina spent the hour with us and watched.

Yep, little Blue gets too excited and demanding in class. That's when he throws his tantrums. He is a "treat whore" and when he wants one - no, when he feels he DESERVES one - nothing will stop him.

Being in class with other dogs and people is just a bit too much for him right now.

We had all noticed that he wasn't behaving better; he was getting worse. I mean, we had to spray him with the water bottle!

Walking him up and down the street, easily and without much restraint, he began to smile. He looks at other dogs and people, but isn't particularly interested in them. We walked on the grass and then back off before he started to jump. When he gets near grass, all he wants to do is start running.

Marthina saw how great he is AS LONG AS I IGNORE HIM. The minute I lean over (to fix his leash) or say anything to him, he starts in.

He is a typical teenager AKA brat. Wants his own way NOW.

Marthina thinks he may have had some extremely strict obedience training before arriving on my doorstep. I don't know but it's possible.

So Blue needs to learn how to relax, amuse himself and not look to me all the time for attention and entertainment.

As soon as I ignore him, not even give him a command, he relaxes. If anyone comes up or gives him any attention, he acts up.

He lunged at someone when he came up because the man bent over to pet him.

Blue was all over him, wagging his tail and trying to lick the man to death.

Of course, I had him on his leash, so I get pulled right into it.

Marthina said "Nope, ignore him. Walk away," and the man did.

Blue knocked it off.

On our walk last night, Blue was fine when he saw another dog with his person. I felt him tug a bit on the leash. I stopped walking and he knocked it off.

But as soon as the other dog barked at him, Blue wanted to play.

I pulled him back and casually walked away. Blue followed. I didn't say a word.

So, no treats for him, no commands or praises. Just calmly and with some degree of boredom, walk down the street. If anyone approaches, immediately tell them to ignore him.

Operation Blue - ignore completely and help him to learn how to be a dog.

That means no treats.

Only I would have a dog that you do the opposite with.

Just like me.
 

PIT BULL ATTACKED BY SMALL DOGS!

Damn it!

There we were - Blue and I walking down the street on our daily walk. He's doing great, staying by my side and marching right along.

Suddenly, 2 small dogs come charging out of a garage, barking, snarling, and running straight for us.

What does Blue do?

He tries to run away.

He's scared. His ears go back, his tail goes under him and he tried to bolt.

Big bad pit bull is afraid of 2 small dogs.

I hold tight and turn around and face the little assholes who have suddenly stopped because the human is facing them and ready to do battle.

I hear humans shouting at them, running out of the house to get their dogs. I'm holding onto Blue's leash because he's pulling on it and wanting to get the hell out of there.

"GET BACK HERE YOU TWO!"

I don't move and quickly figure out what I have to do to prevent these 2 dogs from hurting my dog.

Someone comes running up and picks up one of them. My heart is pounding but I remain calm. I quietly tell Blue it's OK and hope that me standing tall and relaxed will calm him down.

It does. A bit.

"I'm so sorry," she says as she makes a retreat with one dog. The other follows.

I say nothing because what I want to say will not be good.

I walk Blue a few feet away, put him in a sit-stay and reward him.

We continue our walk as if nothing happened but inside, I'm fuming.

I doubt the dogs would have bit either one of us.

But I don't know for sure and I don't want to find out.

The sprayer made its appearance.

You see this?

Do you know what it's for?

This is used to spray water in Blue's face.

Do I like doing that?

Actually, yes and no.

First of all, I didn't do it. Blue was throwing another tantrum in class and just to be clear, let me first explain what that is.

This is when Blue decides to not behave. He begins jumping up and down and then grabs the leash, pulls on it AND WILL NOT LET GO.

Sounds cute?

Well, it isn't. It's extremely frustrating and a bit worrisome.

This isn't a case of a dog just wanting to play for a moment.

Blue does not do that. When he gets in this state, he's "gone," meaning mentally he is in a zone somewhere. His eyes dilate and his eyes and ears get red.

Have you ever had a 70 pound pit bull pull on you?

If so, then you know what I mean. You can understand where the myth came from about their locking jaws. Mammals don't have locking jaws, but a pit bulls jaws are incredibly strong.

If you haven't, then before you tell me how cute and funny it is, I'd like for you to experience the strength of this breed as he pulls on the leash and practically takes you with it. Allow yourself to feel your arm get pulled suddenly and have the leash that is wrapped around your hand get tighter and tighter and tighter. And then experience the pain in your thumb a bit later.

While this was going on, I saw the trainer quietly walk over to us. When he does this, I have to do my best to walk away and get him far from the other dogs. I do not talk to him. I just hold onto the leash and try to walk away.

I see her coming up so I hold on as best as I can. Blue is pulling as hard as he can on the leash. I'm a bit worried that he will chew through it. He tugs and pulls and has his heels dug in. The grass is wet and somewhat slippery.

Suddenly there is a shot of water hitting his face.

He stops and looks around. He looks like someone just walked up to him and slapped him across the face. His butt hits the ground and he lets go of the leash.

For a moment, all is quiet. I wish I had gotten a picture of his face. Priceless, as if to say "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?"

I stand there and look at him. He is staring at the trainer and unsure of what happened. We both suppress our laughs. She hands me the spray bottle and walks away.

Blue sees it. Suddenly he is now sitting in front of me, eyes up and his ears back. All thoughts of pulling on the leash are gone. His eyes dart back and forth from my face and the sprayer that I am holding.

I keep him out of the main circle and have backed him out of the group. This is where he will stay until I can get him through this.

Why is he doing this?

Well, when he is acting like that, he is being a puppy. I mean a young puppy. He is not acting like an adult because he doesn't know how. Just because he is almost 3 years old means nothing. Visualize how a little puppy plays and you'll get a good idea of how Blue plays.

So we are back to baby steps. Now when I take him to the park at night, all I have him do is sit and look around. Every time he looks at me, he gets a reward.

He has the attention span of about 1 second.

He is a wonderful, sweet and affectionate dog who doesn't know how to be a dog.

He may or may not get through this phase.

I think he will but no matter what, he'll always be with me.

Blue's tantrums

Yes, Blue throws tantrums.

They are quite cute. Well, OK, maybe not all the time.

But once his trainer pointed out what he was doing, my first thought was:

"Payback is SUCH a bitch!"

I understand tantrums. I know what it's like to get frustrated at not getting what you want. Though it has been decades since I've thrown things around the room when someone told me "NO!" I suppose as an adult, the urge is still there.

I just cover it up better.

What are his tantrums about?

Not getting a treat when he wants it or thinks he deserves it.

Not wanting to drop his toy or bone when I tell him to.

Not wanting to stop chasing the cats around the house.

It is most apparent during his classes. He's getting much better at sitting quietly and looking at me. I've gotten him to be able to keep his attention on me longer and longer.

But when we walk past anyone who has ever given him a treat, and he doesn't get one, he begins to jump up and down on me. He starts pulling the leash and refuses to stop. He'll put his mouth over my hand and hold it.

Anything to get my attention and give him what he wants. His ears go back, his tail is going a million miles an hour and he bounces up and down.

He is a strong dog and just wants what he wants when he wants it.

It doesn't work.

I turn my back and look away. He comes around and jumps on me. I turn away. He does it again and then grabs the leash in his mouth and pulls.

This will go on for quite a while.

The trainer smiles and stands quietly and watches.

Now, he never does this at home or when we walk. He only does it in class.

Can you even imagine what that might look to someone if he was doing that while we were walking?

I don't even want to think about it.

It used to take me several minutes to get his leash on him. As soon as he would see me pull it out, down goes his front legs and up goes his butt. I step near him and he begins to bounce and then run around the yard.

I would stand up straight, turn my back to him and wait.

This would go on for quite some time.

He finally got it through his head that I ignore his bad behavior and he only gets my attention when he is calm.

He rarely does this now but his new thing is to act up in class.

Well, that's what class is for. Find out what he needs help with and work with him on that.

Our homework for this week?

Get Blue to be bored for longer and longer periods of time.

I say "OK, we will do that this week."

So how do you train a dog to behave when what you're training them on drives YOU up the wall?

Who is learning now?

So I try. I try really hard and what I am overcoming is my own boredom. I am learning to ignore the bad behavior of PEOPLE around me. I stand there after I have gotten him to sit and wait. I can do this for about 5 seconds before I want him to come to me BECAUSE I AM BORED!

I want to throw my own damn tantrums in life too! Damn it! I want to jump up and down and body slam people who are being assholes and bitches and who refuse to listen to me.

So this week, I am practicing holding my own space for as long as necessary and not reacting to the jabs and barbs I get from people. I am learning to remain calm and wait things out. I am learning to not respond when someone uses their words to poke me on the chest and then blame me for getting angry or annoyed.

I am learning to just BE. To only pay attention to the rightness and goodness of people and my surroundings. I am learning to be aware of and ignore the tempers tantrums of others. I am learning to ignore those that want to blame me for their own emotions.

It has been said many times that dogs are a reflection of us.

I am finding that this may very well be true and one of the hardest things I have had to learn about Blue and therefore, myself.

Time to make some changes around here.

Blue with his Dad and I at an open house last week for a rescue shelter.

 

Sometimes. you hit these crossroads in life that you don't even know you're standing at.

What I mean is, it is easy for a life to go on auto-pilot. Just day in and day out, going through the motions that you've done hundreds or thousands of times.

It's easy to do because everyone else is doing it, so you go along with the motion. After all, you're the one that put it into play. You're the one that makes every decision of every moment about your life and the lives of others. Sometimes it's on a large scale, but most of the time it's these minute decisions that you no longer are aware of doing.

Some of us don't like doing that. Others wouldn't have it any other way.

I listen to the rain falling and I feel Blue's blockhead on my shoulder and hear his deep snoring. Scout and Boots are curled up along my side. Boots begins to purr as I stir and look at the clock.

It's 5:00 in the morning and I am wide awake. I glance over at the pile of incomplete projects on my nightstand and I sigh.

I log on this morning and see good things and bad things, as always. I see some funny shit, some angry crap and general run-of-the-mill posts that bore me to tears.

I watch the humans rushing to work. I look at my checking account and want to cry.

I see that the United Nations chose a pit bull for their stamps for the "International Day of Happiness."

And for a brief moment, I smile. I am happy and I knew this day was coming.

The day when I decide to go in another direction.

Again.

I thought I was all done with this nonsense of shaking things up in my life. I'm getting too old for this shit.

But, no. Not me. I lie to myself just as well as everyone else does.

But I have a low tolerance for it and I know it's always just a matter of time before I stop doing it.

Why?

Because that smile that I had for a brief moment was the first one in a very long time that I actually felt. I mean, it came from my heart and soul and was a reflection of true happiness for a second.

These animals, these pets that I have, make me smile like that. They make me feel it from the inside out.

Humans often make me shake my head, rub my forehead and want to slap them. The guy who looks right at you and still cuts you off in traffic, knowing you had to slam on your breaks to avoid hitting him.

The woman that sneers at you as you hold the door open for her and doesn't have enough manners to thank you.

And then I read about the wonderful people working so hard without enough time or money to make a difference in an animal's world, but they are getting it done.

The look of gratitude in the dog or cats face when they have been saved will forever be part of my soul. Along with it comes the horror of what some humans are capable of. The part of life that I cannot deal with and yet cannot walk away.

What does this mean?

I have no idea except that I have lost all patience with the those that do nothing to help themselves, let alone extend a helpful hand to the lives around them. I know that my time on this planet is limited and I have no intention of wasting a moment of it on those that do not help to make this world a better place.

My time will be better spent on supporting those that are making a difference.

It's time to turn off the auto-pilot and kick some ass. It's time to turn my back on the negative, roll up my sleeves and immerse myself back into the world of non-profits for humans and animals.

It's time to stop worrying about my own survival and go where this road leads me.

I have no idea where that is, but I'm on my way.

Am I scared?

Hell yes.

But I'm going to do it anyway.

Living a conventional life has never been my style and I've been too comfortable for too long.

Yes, it's time to make some changes around here and as soon as I know what they are, I'll let you know.

Waves and logs off...

Alpha? Dominant? Pack Leader? Please make it stop.

"Alpha? Who cares as long as I have you Mom." 

I can't take it anymore and I finally found the training program that told me I'm right.

Blue is an amazing dog. Sweet, shy with strangers, a huge heart and all he wants to do is be loved and play. He...just...wants...to...play.

Finally, someone told me today what a wonderful quality that is in him.

It doesn't mean he's dominant.

It doesn't mean he's trying to control me.

It doesn't mean I don't have my dog under control.

It doesn't mean he's aggressive.

It means just that: he just wants to play and have fun.

Period.

I don't want the perfect dog. I don't want a dog that isn't happy. I don't want a dog that is afraid to be himself.

I want a dog that is secure, well mannered and a good friend.

I started a new class with Blue 2 weeks ago. Today, we did an exercise. We were told to forget about controlling the dog with the leash and voice. Instead control (and therefore teach) the dog with our body language and energy. We each took turns to hold the leash loosely, walk with our dog to the center of the circle, stop and turn around and walk back.

We all agreed to be critiqued by the others. What happened was amazing.

Each dog is an individual, just as each person is. Each dog in class has their own shit to deal with. Some dogs pulled and tried to run around and each time the human was advised to stop and ignore the behavior.

Each time it worked.

Our turn came. I stood up tall, relaxed the leash and marched to the center of the circle. Blue followed. As soon as he would pull away, I stopped and ignored him. I turned around and he followed.

Suddenly, Blue is all over me, jumping and wanting to play. I stop, turn around and ignore him. I said nothing. I did nothing and waited.

Of course, he has NEVER done that on our walks.

The trainer smiled as we got back to our spot and I waited to hear what everyone had to say.

She said "What did you all see? Did you see aggression? Domination? What?"

All said "He wanted to play!"

"Yes! That's right!" the trainer said as she walked over to Blue. "And I love that about this dog! He's beautiful and amazing and a wonderful dog!"

I was stunned. I expected to hear "Get your dog under control! Don't let him push you around! Show him who is in charge. Now!"

We were then told how the "Alpha" theory and "Pack Leader" theory has been debunked for many years now. We were told to Google it and I did.

Here is a link that I found that made me smile: http://healthypets.mercola.com/sites/healthypets/archive/2012/05/09/dog-behavior-myth.aspx

I know my dog doesn't think of me as another dog. Come to find out, the man that originally came up with this research has asked everyone to stop publishing his work as it has been altered and the study done of wolves was not done in the wild. It was done in captivity. :http://content.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,2007250,00.html

Now don't get me wrong; I love the work that Cesar Millan does and I am in agreement with most of his philosophy and tools. This isn't about him or his work.

It's about what works for me. And if it works for me, then it will work for Blue.

I have no interest in trying to convince Blue that I am an Alpha. I'm not a wolf nor a dog and he is not a human.

All he wants to know is what is right and what is wrong.

And my job is to teach him that and help him be the best FAMILY member he can be.

Yes, he's my family and to think anything other than that does not work of either of us.