Time to make some changes around here.

Blue with his Dad and I at an open house last week for a rescue shelter.

 

Sometimes. you hit these crossroads in life that you don't even know you're standing at.

What I mean is, it is easy for a life to go on auto-pilot. Just day in and day out, going through the motions that you've done hundreds or thousands of times.

It's easy to do because everyone else is doing it, so you go along with the motion. After all, you're the one that put it into play. You're the one that makes every decision of every moment about your life and the lives of others. Sometimes it's on a large scale, but most of the time it's these minute decisions that you no longer are aware of doing.

Some of us don't like doing that. Others wouldn't have it any other way.

I listen to the rain falling and I feel Blue's blockhead on my shoulder and hear his deep snoring. Scout and Boots are curled up along my side. Boots begins to purr as I stir and look at the clock.

It's 5:00 in the morning and I am wide awake. I glance over at the pile of incomplete projects on my nightstand and I sigh.

I log on this morning and see good things and bad things, as always. I see some funny shit, some angry crap and general run-of-the-mill posts that bore me to tears.

I watch the humans rushing to work. I look at my checking account and want to cry.

I see that the United Nations chose a pit bull for their stamps for the "International Day of Happiness."

And for a brief moment, I smile. I am happy and I knew this day was coming.

The day when I decide to go in another direction.

Again.

I thought I was all done with this nonsense of shaking things up in my life. I'm getting too old for this shit.

But, no. Not me. I lie to myself just as well as everyone else does.

But I have a low tolerance for it and I know it's always just a matter of time before I stop doing it.

Why?

Because that smile that I had for a brief moment was the first one in a very long time that I actually felt. I mean, it came from my heart and soul and was a reflection of true happiness for a second.

These animals, these pets that I have, make me smile like that. They make me feel it from the inside out.

Humans often make me shake my head, rub my forehead and want to slap them. The guy who looks right at you and still cuts you off in traffic, knowing you had to slam on your breaks to avoid hitting him.

The woman that sneers at you as you hold the door open for her and doesn't have enough manners to thank you.

And then I read about the wonderful people working so hard without enough time or money to make a difference in an animal's world, but they are getting it done.

The look of gratitude in the dog or cats face when they have been saved will forever be part of my soul. Along with it comes the horror of what some humans are capable of. The part of life that I cannot deal with and yet cannot walk away.

What does this mean?

I have no idea except that I have lost all patience with the those that do nothing to help themselves, let alone extend a helpful hand to the lives around them. I know that my time on this planet is limited and I have no intention of wasting a moment of it on those that do not help to make this world a better place.

My time will be better spent on supporting those that are making a difference.

It's time to turn off the auto-pilot and kick some ass. It's time to turn my back on the negative, roll up my sleeves and immerse myself back into the world of non-profits for humans and animals.

It's time to stop worrying about my own survival and go where this road leads me.

I have no idea where that is, but I'm on my way.

Am I scared?

Hell yes.

But I'm going to do it anyway.

Living a conventional life has never been my style and I've been too comfortable for too long.

Yes, it's time to make some changes around here and as soon as I know what they are, I'll let you know.

Waves and logs off...

Alpha? Dominant? Pack Leader? Please make it stop.

"Alpha? Who cares as long as I have you Mom." 

I can't take it anymore and I finally found the training program that told me I'm right.

Blue is an amazing dog. Sweet, shy with strangers, a huge heart and all he wants to do is be loved and play. He...just...wants...to...play.

Finally, someone told me today what a wonderful quality that is in him.

It doesn't mean he's dominant.

It doesn't mean he's trying to control me.

It doesn't mean I don't have my dog under control.

It doesn't mean he's aggressive.

It means just that: he just wants to play and have fun.

Period.

I don't want the perfect dog. I don't want a dog that isn't happy. I don't want a dog that is afraid to be himself.

I want a dog that is secure, well mannered and a good friend.

I started a new class with Blue 2 weeks ago. Today, we did an exercise. We were told to forget about controlling the dog with the leash and voice. Instead control (and therefore teach) the dog with our body language and energy. We each took turns to hold the leash loosely, walk with our dog to the center of the circle, stop and turn around and walk back.

We all agreed to be critiqued by the others. What happened was amazing.

Each dog is an individual, just as each person is. Each dog in class has their own shit to deal with. Some dogs pulled and tried to run around and each time the human was advised to stop and ignore the behavior.

Each time it worked.

Our turn came. I stood up tall, relaxed the leash and marched to the center of the circle. Blue followed. As soon as he would pull away, I stopped and ignored him. I turned around and he followed.

Suddenly, Blue is all over me, jumping and wanting to play. I stop, turn around and ignore him. I said nothing. I did nothing and waited.

Of course, he has NEVER done that on our walks.

The trainer smiled as we got back to our spot and I waited to hear what everyone had to say.

She said "What did you all see? Did you see aggression? Domination? What?"

All said "He wanted to play!"

"Yes! That's right!" the trainer said as she walked over to Blue. "And I love that about this dog! He's beautiful and amazing and a wonderful dog!"

I was stunned. I expected to hear "Get your dog under control! Don't let him push you around! Show him who is in charge. Now!"

We were then told how the "Alpha" theory and "Pack Leader" theory has been debunked for many years now. We were told to Google it and I did.

Here is a link that I found that made me smile: http://healthypets.mercola.com/sites/healthypets/archive/2012/05/09/dog-behavior-myth.aspx

I know my dog doesn't think of me as another dog. Come to find out, the man that originally came up with this research has asked everyone to stop publishing his work as it has been altered and the study done of wolves was not done in the wild. It was done in captivity. :http://content.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,2007250,00.html

Now don't get me wrong; I love the work that Cesar Millan does and I am in agreement with most of his philosophy and tools. This isn't about him or his work.

It's about what works for me. And if it works for me, then it will work for Blue.

I have no interest in trying to convince Blue that I am an Alpha. I'm not a wolf nor a dog and he is not a human.

All he wants to know is what is right and what is wrong.

And my job is to teach him that and help him be the best FAMILY member he can be.

Yes, he's my family and to think anything other than that does not work of either of us.