Blue "The Blueminator" Lewis

Blue "The Blueminator" Lewis

Friday, October 18, 2013

Tomorrow morning, everything changes

Tonight I get ready for everything to change in my life tomorrow morning.

Most people would think that is such an odd statement and it probably is. I mean, it's just a dog, right?


It's so much more than that.

At least, for me it is and since this is my blog and my life, I get to choose what to do with it and how I feel.

Since deciding to adopt Blue under a difficult situation, I guess I should have known that some people would give unsolicited advice and opinions.

It is a rare day in hell when I ask for someone's opinion and adopting Blue was not one of them. It wasn't so much of a decision as that moment when you know you have to - and want to - do the right thing.

I have always had dogs. They were in the house when I was brought home from the hospital as an infant. At one time, I had 4 dogs.

I have never gone longer than a month or two without one.

Until the last one was put down.

Maverick. Shadow. Renegade. Moppett the cat.

He was the 3rd dog I had lost in 3 years, along with 2 cats. It was a long and painful ordeal as he was dying from cancer. Three times I scheduled with the vet to put him down and three times I cancelled.

I couldn't do it. He was still eating, walking slowly and still had his goofy grin. I talked extensively with the vet. I was assured that he was not in pain and would continue to have bursts of energy. She told me I would know when to do it and I wouldn't hesitate.

She was right.

Towards the end, I had him with me 24/7. I brought him to work. He could not be left alone for a moment. He had a tumor that could rupture at anytime. All I did during those last few weeks was sleep (with him in my bed), eat, work and go home. If I had to go to the store, his Dad would stay with him. My life was centered around him and his needs.

Then one night it happened. He wouldn't eat. He refused chicken. He refused steak. He wouldn't drink any water. He wouldn't stop walking.

It was late. I gently picked him up and put him on the bed. I wrapped a blanket around him and soothed him. He was shaking. Every time I petted him and talked to him, he would stop. I held him like that for 8 hours. All night I rocked him and tried not to cry. He would only sleep if I held him very tight. I talked to him and told him it was time. He sighed and wagged his tail.

I held him so tight and for so long that my entire body ached for days afterwards.

We said our goodbye's and in the morning, I took him to the vet, along with his Dad. It was quiet and peaceful.

I cried for 3 weeks.

All my dogs were gone.

I vowed to never go through it again.

I meant it. The thought of going through that much pain again was too much.

I had my cats. I had more freedom. I didn't have vet bills. I didn't have to worry about being gone for a few days. It no longer mattered when I got home at night.

And that suited me just fine.

And then Blue arrived. I helped with him. I adored him. I cried when he had to leave his foster dad. But he was OK and loved his mom.

Then I heard he needed a new home and they were taking him to the shelter.

And here we are.

And I've heard the opinions of some that I might not know what I'm doing.

Say what?

"Remember what you said after Maverick died? Remember how devastated you were?"

I wanted to slap her. Hard. Across her face.

"No. I don't remember anything about that," I said and rolled my eyes.

She looked at me for a second.

"You honestly think I don't recall any of it? You really think that?"

"Well, what I mean is..."

"What you MEAN is that YOU don't approve of this for some reason. What you THINK is that your opinion means something to me and that's where you're wrong. I never asked what you thought. I don't give a damn what you or anyone else thinks and I don't recall asking you for your opinion!"

I walked away. I was furious. I reminded myself, once again, to never talk about animals to someone who doesn't understand.

I remember every single moment of every death of my pets. It is etched and burned into my mind forever. I have the back seat of my car covered in a blanket to hide the blood stains from Maverick. I remember every moan, every yelp and every sad and painful look each of them gave me as we did the "Death Walk" into the vet.

I recall every second of taking Shadow in for a check-up and expecting to get some medicine for him but instead putting him down. There isn't anything about that that has left my mind or what it was like to leave without him, to come home and cry for hours while I looked at his empty bed.

I know I can't afford to do this.

But I'm doing it anyway.

I know as a renter this can cause me lots of problems in the future.

But I'm doing it anyway.

I know that there will be vet bills that I won't know how to pay.

So what? Been there and done that and my pets never went without proper care. I always manage to figure it out.

I know that there will be a time when Blue will be gone.

And I know that 99% of the time, things will be good.

It's not about adopting a dog.

It's about saving a life and having the courage to do so.

I can't save all of them, but I can save this one.

It's about having a companion to be with and thumbing my nose at all the humans who have rejected me prior.

It's about having someone to love and having that love returned.

It's about loneliness so deep that it makes you cry at night and knowing that this dog understands it.

It's about healing each other and moving on with our lives.


Introducing Zephyr!

Rescued from our country's second largest dog fighting ring.

Too scared to walk.

Too sacred to take a treat from a human for over two weeks.

On his way to his forever home, thanks to these wonderful people:

A bit of a long read, but so worth it.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Sunday, October 13, 2013

We are listening as fast as we can, sweet fur babies.

Taken via Google Plus from a private post. You know who you are and thank you for posting.

Friday, October 11, 2013

OK, make that 8 days and counting

Well, Blue can't make it down here until next weekend.

I had hoped for tomorrow, but his Dad/driver has to work. Being the good person he is, he of course wants to meet me and make sure Blue will be OK. I had offered to go get him - he's about 1.5 hours away - but realized that the best thing was to let him take care of it.

The man loves Blue and has hung-in there for weeks, waiting for the right weekend where he could pack everything up and drive him down. It will be a family affair including a few other people.

So regardless of how things turned out for Blue, he has always been well loved. It just became impossible for his owners to care for him properly.

I know this. I feel anger that it happened but then I tell myself I am judging people and know very little about them. I know many people have had to surrender their beloved pets to shelters when they lost their homes. I know people do this when they can no longer care for their pet.

I've almost been there. I came 3 weeks to being homeless years ago and tried to figure out how I would live in a car with 3 dogs. I was dead serious about it. The thought of not being able to have my pets is something that I can't bear.

Blue is a handful. He is young and I am used to walking dogs early in the morning with their raincoats on when it was pouring. I know that he will require a tremendous amount of attention, love and training. I know that he has not been abused; just neglected.

And I know that animals live in the present and any bad things from the past will dissipate as time goes by with enough love,  guidance and strength. I know what they do for one's own life and spirit.

They give you a reason to get up in the morning.

They give you a reason to come home.

They give you someone to love when no one else will. They ask nothing of us except to be treated well and included. They return more love than one can imagine.

They are the perfect human being with four legs.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Out of the shelter and into the sun.

Two elder pit bulls reunited with their owner.

2 senior dogs were taken from their owner a while back because they were pit bulls. Fortunately with the help of many, the 2 senior dogs and their owner are reunited! It's nice to see happy endings when they happen! c/o
 We have some exciting news to share with everyone! Sasha and Bear have been reunited with their owner! They were so incredibly happy to see him and the feeling was mutual! Their dad wanted us to thank everyone for their well wishes and we owe you all a huge thank you for your support! We had so many offers of help- whether it be through sharing, transporting, fostering, adopting, and beyond, it truly has been amazing. We also want to thank The Humane Society of the United States for their help in keeping this family together. We love happy endings! c/o

Because...that's why. Because.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

The adventure begins soon.

It's Wednesday night and Blue will be arriving Saturday afternoon.

I don't know how I'm going to do this, but somehow I will. My biggest concerns are my cats. I know it will take time and I hope eventually they will accept him and not run away. They are house cats, but do know how to bolt through an open door.

My house is small. Very small but I have a big yard. I keep telling myself that I can do this and I know if anyone can, it is me.

I met Blue over a year ago. A friend heard about him. He was 1 year old and had been put in a crate 3 months earlier and left there. Someone would come by and let him out a few times a day for a few minutes.

When he arrived at my friends house, he was nervous and scared but sweet. Oh so sweet. I fell for him and helped care for him. I would come over and take him for walks and spend as much time with him as I could.

He became family.

After a year, the owner wanted him back. She missed him. She swore she would take good care of him.

And so she did, for a short period of time. Soon her father had to step in. He built Blue a kennel and bought him toys. He fell in love with Blue also. But he couldn't continue to care for him.

He had to take him to the pound.

No one else could help and the owner was busy with 2 jobs.

He was being crated again in the evenings and not allowed in the house.


That was my reaction when I heard they were taking him to the shelter.

I had not had a dog in over 3 years. I had always had dogs, but after losing the 3rd one in 3 years, I couldn't face another loss.

I swore I would stick with cats. I love my cats and was happy with my decision. I could leave for a day or two and not worry. I had more freedom and didn't have to worry about what time I got home.

Getting another dog was the last thing I wanted to do.

But I couldn't let my friend be abandoned again. I knew I would not be able to live with myself.

So he arrives in a few days.

He will change everything in my life.

That is what I am hoping for.